Some days I feel like I’m standing on a sinking ship. That despite all my efforts to float, it is inevitable that I will find myself submerged In the water.
It seems like it is one thing after another this summer, and to be honest I’ve been very overwhelmed.
A week or so ago I was having anxiety from my new job situation being exhausting and frustrating. Every day was bringing me anxiety because of being understaffed and not having the support necessary to love on the kids there. I felt like joy was only found in moments few and far between and defeat was slowly finding its victory.
That is when I felt the soft nudge of God.
My darling, why are you so afraid of the water? What you see as a sinking ship is in fact me breaking down lies you’ve stood upon for to long. It is an invitation to let go of control and to let me take you into new things.
You cannot grow and change if you’re always holding onto what’s familiar.
If you are afraid of change you’ll always find yourself experiencing anxiety and tension.
For to truly live life and to experience me you have to learn the art of embracing what was while also welcoming what is next.
Don’t be afraid of the storms for I am always amidst them and always be near to your heart
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And that’s when I realized that I was chasing happiness, that I was letting my circumstances define my joy and perspective.
Yet Happiness is a fleeting sensation and joy is deeply rooted beyond your circumstance.
True joy is rooted in God’s love. It doesn’t billow in the winds of uncertainty but rather digs deeper in love.
Joy is the small beacon of light that finds its way through the prison window, a reminder that God’s love never fails. It’s the choice to not dwell on what is in front of us but to hope in something bigger. 
“Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.” Romans 12:12
Rose and Thorn 