The dust stirs all around. Waiting to settle, but unable to because of all the commotion and chaos that pull and tugs within my heart.
Some of it is intentional, the busyness, the running around the lack of rest within my schedule. The constant searching for something more. It is all to no avail, for all I am doing is stirring up the dust, clouding my vision and any sense of my surroundings.
We all have our coping mechanisms, the things that we do to avoid the shit we don’t want to deal with. For me, I am learning one of mine is busyness- creating distraction through filling my life with things so that I don’t have to rest or be alone with my thoughts. Any other people out there who are a 7 on the enneagram will probably be nodding in agreement to this.
Yet how often do I miss the things my heart is trying to tell me, how often do I miss the very things that I must face in order to find healing?
I had a moment last week at church where I felt like God asked me who I am when the dust settles. When all of life’s distractions are put to the side and it is just me left sitting there. Who am I when I am not running away- when I am sitting still and peace surrounds me? Do I like the person who I am apart from all the things or people surrounding me?
I’ve been reading Jonah the past couple of weeks- really dwelling on the details and his character. Thinking about the way Jonah ran away, but God pursued Him still. The way that God met him in the storm and took him to a place that was void of distraction. To draw him closer to His heart, to humble him, to show him his greater purpose.
When He knew Jonah was ready he had the whale spit him out so that he could go and warn the people of Nineveh.
There is more to the story after that, but I’ve found myself caught thinking about the way God pursued Jonah and the way that Jonah responded while trapped in the fish.
God pursued him because he had a purpose for him, a plan that Jonah couldn’t even comprehend.
He pursued Jonah even when He was stubborn and ran away. He pursued Jonah in the storm and inside of the whale. And after when Jonah questioned what God was doing, He still pursued him.
And in the same way he pursue you and I, fighting for our hearts. Knowing what is best, even when we cant see that vision unfolding.
I often wonder what Jonah was thinking during that time in the fish’s stomach. I am sure that he was a bit disheartened, probably not enjoying the smell and a bit repulsed by the slimy texture.
Yet despite his surroundings and circumstance, the thing I find the most admirable in Jonah is that he took that time to dig deeper in his faith. His prayer being “ but you, Lord my God, brought me up from the pit. When my life was ebbing away, I remembered you, Lord, and my prayer rose to you”
So let that be your reminder to dig deeper.
To stay planted, even when you don’t feel the warmth of the sun.
Stay rooted even when the hard seasons feel as if they will never end.
Stay hopefully in the drought, for healing and answers are coming.
Don’t loose heart, but let the dust and distractions settle so that you can see the great purpose planted deep within your heart.