Several years ago, I was at a place where I had low self esteem and I didn’t see the value within and most of my days were a constant battle to see the good. I remember sitting and journaling one night, frustrated by the way anxiety always seemed to be hanging over me like a thick fog. I didn’t know how to love myself, it was easier to believe the lies that had taken root within then to try and uproot them, yet I knew that I was made for more and I wanted so desperately to believe I was beautiful and had value. I felt like God told me that the journey to self-love and seeing who he made me to be started with the little choices and for the next few months to start every single day writing down the good about myself. I still have the journal from that time where every morning I would wake up and I would sit and ask God to help me find the good within. At first it felt hard, and I didn’t always believe the words I would write down. There were days when I didn’t want to do it, but I pushed through and made it a habit.
1.Valuable
13. Perfect in His eyes
30. Chosen
36. Creative
50. Quick to see the good
As the days progressed, I remember slowly feeling the words taking root. Overtime the practice of speaking the good and writing down and listening to what God said about me were pushing out the negative voices of my past hurt. There was a window within my heart being opened. Where it had felt dark before, the light and the fresh air of Gods presence was shining in and blowing through clearing out the dust and hurt and brining newness and life.
101. Brave
121. Generous
141. A fighter
173. Important
By the time I finished that journal, I had 500 things written down and I felt lighter and more worthy of love. That time spent journaling and pointing out the good within me began to slowly transform my way of thinking and the way I viewed myself. That isn’t to say that since then I don’t struggle with the same things; I don’t think anybody ever reaches a final destination of perfect self love, but it is a quicker process for me to be able to rebound and recognize the lies and replace them with truth. I can confidently say that the confidence and self love I have today is In part due to this season of my life where I began to plant seeds of love and hope.
Every day we have opportunity to plant seeds within our own hearts and those around us. Our small choices are either watering the good flowers or empowering the weeds to take root. One person’s harsh or unkind words often cause the flowers to begin to wilt as the weeds grow rampant. In the same way words of encouragement and love water the flowers and cause them to choke out the weeds. If you constantly are putting yourself down and telling yourselves lies, you are choosing to water the weeds and to diminish your beauty and value within. If you speak kindly to yourself, being gentle and encouraging, you are giving the flowers a chance to bloom and to push the weeds away.
Pay attention to what seeds you are choosing to water.
If you aren’t careful, you will find your heart is overrun with weeds. The weeds though, don’t define you, for your beauty and love comes from the core. The weeds are just a façade, a false pretense that wants you to believe the lies are your reality.
It can feel overwhelming sometimes. The lies can feel deeply rooted and the weeds overpowering. But if you start simple you will soon find the hope and beauty of the flowers is what you notice. The weeds slowly but surely will begin to thin out and fade away.
Plant love, encouragement and hope In abundance. Water them fervently, leaving no space for lies, hate or jealousy.
Every day we have a choice of which seeds we choose to water. In the moment it might not feel important, but it doesn’t take much for either a flower or a weed to take root. If you allow jealousy to be planted, it will try and choke out the love and forgiveness. If you plant forgiveness it will soon overtake the hate. If you plant It isn’t something that happens overnight, but it is an accumulation of small choices.
Take a minute to do an inventory of your life. Ask yourself what seeds you are watering. What do you want to thrive and to be the sweet fragrance that your life is marked by?
If you feel overwhelmed by the weeds and the thorns, ask yourself what little things you can do to start making progress. Maybe that is detoxing from social media so that the lie of comparison or jealousy can’t thrive. Maybe it is going to therapy so that you can get to the root of some of the hurt and the pain. Sometimes it is as simple as catching yourself when you want to talk negatively about yourself and instead finding something to affirm.
Rose and Thorn 