Life often becomes a busy blur. We constantly rush from one thing to the next. For me, my life is filled with babysitting, cleaning houses with my mom, bible studies, coffee with friends, photography, giving rides to my 15 year old sister, going to volleyball games, visiting my two sisters and grandma in Laramie, watching movies with my brother, need I go on? Always on the go. Not often enough, besides the precious time at the start of my day, do I take time to simply sit and enjoy Gods presence and to be still. Every now and then though, God gives you a reason to. For me, this happened about a month ago.
I was at this friday morning worship with some friends-one of my favorite things and such a wonderful start to my day. When I was there, the Lord gave me a vision. A vision filled with hope for the future, with words to lift up others around me, a vision of what God intends life to be like. So today, I would love to share this little piece of what Jesus showed me, so that you all can be encouraged and reminded of how much Jesus loves you, and that you belong to him. First I will share a little background to this story. So my whole life, I have lived in fear. Fear of not fitting in, fear of rejection, fear of not being good enough, fear of being different. The list goes on and on. In the past six months, Jesus has captured my heart, and as I fell in love with the man who died for me, he slowly began to work these fears out of me, replacing them with his love, peace and mercy. This has been a very long process, but so very worth it. Since this past easter, when I fully surrendered my life to Christ, I have experienced such a freedom and joy in living my life for Christ. In letting him into my life, letting him heal me, letting him take my fears and doubts. Maybe a month ago, when I was up in Breckenridge, I was having a rough day. This was the last fling before summer was officially over, and it was really hitting me that I wasn’t going back to school, I didn’t have a plan, or even a job lined up. My heart was aching to be a part of something greater, to experience more of Jesus, to have him become more and me to become less, to do something worthwhile with my life. Yet I still felt like I had no direction and my life was at a stand still. So I was sitting in my friends house and I asked the Lord, that if he had a plan for me and saw me where I was at, to please give me a sign. I asked him to give me a rose, however he wanted to do this, as a reminder that he loves me and is with me, that he hasn’t forgotten me and has a plan for my life. This is where the vision comes into play.
I saw this rose, laying across a black piano. The rose was torn, worn and faded. Yet it still had a marvelous glow about it. Then I saw a flashback, telling the story of that rose. There was this beautiful garden. A rose bush stood at the center, and a variety of other flowers and trees surrounded it. Amongst all the flowers, that rose lay hidden in the rocks. It was trying so hard to be big and beautiful like the other roses. To be tall and stand out. Yet despite all its efforts, it remained the same, small and hidden. People who walked through the garden noticed all the other flowers. Yet this rose remained unnoticed, drowned out by everything around it. Then one day, the man who owned the garden, stooped down next to the rose and said, ” Don’t you realize that you are beautiful just the way you are?” The man then proceeded to take the rose and place it next to this window in his house. As time passed, the rose began to see itself as beautiful and so did the people visiting the garden. The rose thrived in this new environment. It grew into a beautiful rose and had such a lovely glow about it. The man had tenderly taken care of it every day without fail. The rose began to see that despite its thorns and flaws it had intrinsic value. Pretty soon, people would come to the garden to see this rose and they would end up talking to the man who lived in the house. Then it went back to the piano, where the rose lay in the mans house, surrounded by praise and worship. Then I heard the Lord say to me, ” Timia don’t you see that you are the rose? You are so afraid of being yourself, you hide behind others, not wanting to be seen. You compare yourself to others, until all you see are your imperfections and flaws. You try so hard to fit in, to be like others. You are afraid to let others see the real you. I want you to realize that you are beautiful, because you are my daughter. I love every single unique detail about you. I love you for you. I want you to be like the rose and let me heal you, let me take your life and transform it. Just like the rose, I want you to be so filled with my love that people will look at you and see me. I want you to stop being so afraid, and embrace who you are and who I made you to be. You are my daughter and I love you more then you know. I have so much planned for you, if only you come running to me. I knew you before you were born. I am calling you to a life with me. Live in a way that at the end of your life, like that rose you can come before me and say that you have served me well and ran your race with everything you had.” Right after this vision, I came across this tory that really hit home with what the Lord had shown me. This preacher took a single rose and handed it to a women in the front row and asked her to smell its lush loveliness and pass it down. The rose made its rounds while the preacher spoke. At the end he took the rose, it was tattered and bent, damaged and broken. He asked, “now tell me who would ever want a rose like this?” A young man in the audience spoke up, Jesus wants the rose. It doesn’t matter who you are. There is not one of you who isn’t broken. There is not one of you who isn’t damaged goods. Jesus wants the busted and heart broken. Jesus whispers, you have to let yourself be loved. You have to be bare and be seen. Be brave and let those who really love you, really have you. Awake to holy love, its high time to just let go. Let yourself be loved. You only need one to unmask you and touch the hidden damaged places and to say yes and love you freely. One to know that love has no end. One to live like love is the surrendered ink that writes our stories, the taken nail that holds a life, the carried crossbeam that supports the world. You only need one to know that crushed rose smells the most of grace. That is how Jesus has lived and loved and laid down his life for you, all of this and more. You who have made your very life tell the very love letter truth: that forever is not a mere word, not a stretching measurement of time, but forever is a place for the broken to come home. Jesus wants the rose, and that is the miracle that lets you say, I am chosen.
My friends, I pray that this story encouraged you! Let it sink in for a minute, you are the rose, you are the chosen one. Jesus wants every single one of you, no matter how hurt, broken or lost you are. Jesus wants the rose.