Some days I question the meaning of growing roots, investing into a life that is lived deep. I question the way my heart is constantly at war, wanting to thrive and bloom in freedom yet always so quickly retreating into the shadows.
For aren’t we all just flowers billowing in the wind, holding onto hope that our roots are strong and the soil good?
Everywhere I look I see field after field filled with hopeless romantics and dreamers in search of a meaning and purpose. I see the way loneliness has invaded so many brick homes and I hear the muffled cries of those who are taught to be silent. Slowly my heart begins to break, the walls were never strong anyways. The glass castle I built to protect myself was never intended to reflect my true beauty; it simply became the perfect hiding grounds to portray the life that I longed after but could never quite grasp. I could see out, watching life unfold around me as I sat content within the confines of four walls and a door that’s lock had rusted over.
Yet I remember looking outside those walls, arms pressed up against them, my soul crying out for freedom from the very thing that I thought would protect me.From my safe haven, all I saw was a love that at its core is pure and good. A love that is found in the sunshine that warms you up from your core and reminds your heart to beat once again. A love that speaks purpose and passion into soil that once only grew weeds. A love that gently shattered the very boundaries that had enslaved me for so long.
When I look at myself I am greeted with messiness, and I have slowly been allowing myself to realize that is okay. I am allowing myself to realize that the journey we are on won’t always make sense, but as I trust the one who made my heart I find that I can flourish no matter what comes my way. I see the stubborn weeds mixed with the flowers, a garden that is going through an identity crisis. Yet I also see the hands that hold me. Hands that aren’t afraid to get dirty, hands that wont let me down.
The thing is nothing in life comes neatly wrapped up as a beautiful bouquet of clean-cut roses. God doesn’t pick and choose favorites, He admires our unique beauty and sees only perfection. His faithfulness is a promise to be committed to our growth. Regardless of what you believe or what dreams you have, life is going to bring unexpected trials and joys. There are going to be awkward moments, sometimes comparison will creep in and try to kill the flowers that are growing roots. Some days the sunset casts its perfect golden hues across your tired and worn out heart and you feel alive again. Other times the wind shakes you to your core and depression tries to invade with darkness and even getting out of bed takes all your strength.
Yet the true beauty in this journey is the fact that we are alive and breathing, moving forward step by step. The fact that our hearts can feel both pain and love simultaneously. The fact that for every dark night the sun always breaks through.
The fact that we are not alone on this journey.
If you open your eyes for just one second, you will realize that you are not a lone flower struggling to stay rooted, you are one wildflower amidst a field of hearts that are all on the same journey.
Rivers that flow with hope and mercy surround you. Oak trees that speak of wisdom and strength provide shelter and provision. There are mountains and hills, sunsets and refreshing winds. There are also days that the storms take over, but just remember that dark times simply remind you of the powerful roots you have grown and your ability to flourish no matter what surrounds you.