It is time to bloom.
There is a small seed that has been planted, a spark of hope. Tangible change that takes the form of beauty unfolding. A beauty that cannot be defined by the process it takes to truly thrive. For every heart beats to a different song yet all together we were made to thrive in love and joy. So often though we compare journeys and allow our voices to become faint and our breaths short. We begin to settle, content to fit into routine as we allow that small seed to remain sheltered and hidden. We slowly build up walls until running away becomes second nature. Every wall looks different. Some are brick walls, thick and sturdy, our hearts confined by the very abuse and anger that lay brick by brick. Some walls are good at keeping people out; others build a home for depression and isolation. Walls once intended for protection become the very prisons that hold us captive.
2016 was a year marked by the word freedom. Yet the thing about freedom is that it is messy and requires digging deep. It is the process of uprooting lies and planting truth in its place. For what good is freedom if we continue to live in the shadows, afraid of the way the sunlight illuminates our fears as it teaches us to be embrace the very things we have hidden behind locked doors.
It is the process of being isolated in order to silence the voices of those around you. It is walls crumbling down even though you have spent your whole life building them up.
Last year I began to learn that healing isn’t instantaneous because freedom isn’t a destination. Sometimes finding freedom means facing dark nights and walking in courage. It means taking off our masks and facing past hurts and scars. Because lets face it we all have things we hide from. Past moments we aren’t proud of or perhaps your innocence was stolen at a young age. Whether you were sexually abused or simply neglected, we all have chapters in our story that we prefer not to share with others, or even ourselves for that matter.
Yet freedom can only truly be found in bravely embracing the healing process. It is found in the nights spent crying where every tear is watering the small flowers that have been planted in your heart. Growth is a process that can only truly take place if you are abiding in Gods love and allowing his peace to guide you.
In order to truly thrive those flowers need good soil so that they can grow roots that are tenacious and unafraid of storms to come. It is not a formula, a set path leading to a single end goal. Some days it looks like laying in a meadow with the summer sun streaming down as you inhale fresh air and your heart feels alive. Other days the sky is dark and troublesome, the harsh winds know your past mistakes. It takes every ounce of courage to not uproot yourself and to run away. Some battles are fought behind closed doors; depression has a way of silencing your voice and reminding you of the darkness that never ceases.
Yet the darkest of nights are simply a platform for the starts to come out.
So be patient with yourself. To bloom is a process that doesn’t happen overnight. Embrace simplicity and take time to appreciate the small moments. It is okay to flounder between seasons and sometimes crying yourself to sleep is necessary.
You were never made to live life half alive. So don’t settle for being a seed lost among the brokenness and heartache that so often makes up the soil under our feet. You were made to truly bloom in love and to dance in grace. You are capable of change and worthy of being pursued. Trust the journey and keep your eyes on the horizon for growth is a process. Surrender is what brings growth and beauty is found in the process of learning how to bloom. To truly trust the process is to admit that fear is present but to choose to stay rooted in love because you know that the sun will always rise. Your heart was made to beat with boldness and every seed planted is intended to thrive and bloom.