The Process

Chaos. The stirring up of the lies that have for so long spun their webs around our hearts.

Thirsty. Our hearts cry out for freedom from the fears that stifle their potential and purpose.

Freedom. The love that has the power to redefine the way that we see ourselves and the world.

New things are stirring in my heart. A boldness that comes from letting go and moving forward. I am learning to not be afraid of the growing pains, for they are a necessary part of the process.

The unraveling is necessary, for it reveals the true beauty that is planted in our hearts.

It is painful sometimes. The digging up of lies and remembering past hurts and addictions. Some days I get frustrated, I am stubborn, perhaps a little dramatic. The truth is, there is a lot of work to do. Some of those skeltons have been hiding for years. They have convinced you that freedom is an illusion, that they control your future.

Yet what great love has paid the price to own our future. As I reflect on the last year of my life, I am reminded that the process is beautiful because it draws us closer to God’s heart.

For me, 23 was honestly a challenging year, but absolutely necessary in teaching me about love as i began to see the importance of the journey not the destination. I experienced my first heartbreak, which is also a story of God’s redemption and faithfulness. I lost one of my dearest friends to cancer, my little sister and best friend moved states away, I started to go to counseling , which has been so great but in many ways challenges my heart. If I’m honest, a lot of the time I didn’t feel like myself, I felt defeated and discouraged. Yet looking back, I see the way God met me in those places of darkness, the way He provided new friendships and stability amongst transition and change. Here is a few of my thoughts going into my 24th year.

Rejoice in the process, in the uprooting and discovering new growth. That is where you find yourself. For anybody can look at a flower and appreciate its beauty, but how often do you think about the journey it’s been on? In the same way, it is easy to admire the places people have arrived at and to dismiss the road they have travelled on.

My prayer lately has been that I am found fully present in the process. To stop focusing on where I’m going and to start focusing on the ground underneath my feet. I want to water the seeds that are planted in my heart.

Love is here. It is stronger then the fears that try to pull us down. My purpose today is to love, to make people a priority and not a burden. I am reminding myself that I am growing, that it might be a little uncomfortable , but it is worth it.

Stay strong dear one. Don’t run from the winds of change.

Embrace healing, run into the ocean unafraid. Let his love catch you and remind you of the worth within your heart.

The joy of the process is that we are always growing in our capacity to love and be loved.